Edward I. Pollak, Ph.D., Department of Psychology,
I.
Though shalt not cite directly a paper thou hast not read. Neither
shalt thou include in thy reference section any paper that thou hast not read .… Such practices constitute the ‘padding’ of thy
reference section. They are an abomination.
II.
When paraphrasing part of an article, thou must significantly rewrite
the relevant material. Failure to paraphrase constitutes plagiarism for which
you will be cut down.
III.
Excessive quotations are to be avoided. If thou canst not paraphrase a
thing, thou dost not understand that thing. If thou dost not understand a
thing, study it until thou dost understand it and by that understanding, are
able to paraphrase it. Excessive quotes are naught more than "filler
material" used by slothful students who do not have enough material to
write a decent paper.
IV.
In the rare case that thou must use a quotation thou must know that
short quotations shalt always be enclosed within quotation marks. Quotations
[of 40 words or more] shall be indented. All quotations must be followed by
both the reference and the relevant page number (e.g., Pollak, 1974, p.322).
Thou shalt include page numbers only for quotations. For paraphrased material
though shalt cite only the author(s) and date.
V.
Though shalt use APA style in all things. Thou shalt consult the APA
style manual. APA style means that thou shalt use few (if any) footnotes and
that all references will be cited in the body of the paper (e.g., Pollak,
1974). Thou shalt not use numbered references. They are an abomination.
VI. Thou shalt avoid long, flowery, complex sentences in favor of a crisp, telegraphic style.
VII.
Thou shalt include an abstract at the beginning of thy paper [only if
specifically requested]. An abstract is a summary of thy paper. It is not an
introduction to thy paper.
VIII.
Thou shalt use only those sources that come from scholarly journals and
books. Psychology Today and other popular magazines are not scholarly journals.
…
IX.
Thou must know that many of thy resources will not be contained within
the library … and must be sought elsewhere or must be ordered through
inter-library loan. Therefore I say unto thee, verily must thou begin thy
research at the earliest possible time lest the day of
judgment approach and thou art found wanting before thy professor.
X.
Thy professor is a jealous professor. Do not attempt to place upon
[her] lectern a paper first written for another professor. But know too that
thy professor is also gentle and gracious professor and that thou mayest
consult with thy professor at any and all stages of the research and writing
process that thou might not fall into error. …
If thou dost listen to my words and do these things that I command, thou
will be found worthy and thy grade point average will prosper even unto summa
cum laude.